Lies
by delilahrosenberg
Summary: A short story written for the BSN Manifesto's Welcome group. The prompt was "lies." This takes place somewhere in act 3. Anders/f!Hawke Rivalish-mance


_A/N This was written for the BSN Manifesto's Welcome group. The prompt was "lies." Many thanks once again to Elenilote, Surelyforth, and the Tumblr crew for the help with grammar and such-like! _

"NO! He did nothing! If anyone deserves to be beaten senseless it is _me_!" I shout at the Templars as they brutally assault my "accomplice." They must have decided that merely punishing me wasn't going to work. Now they were going after the man closest to my heart; Karl. He has to be the finest mage I have ever met. These Templars have to know he has done nothing, but the beating continues with even more force after my outburst.

"Anders, – please – calm down. You're making it – worse," Karl gasps between punches to his gut.

I want to run to him. I want to heal him with a kiss to every cut and bruise as well as magic. I want to fireball these Templars straight to the Void. I want to burn the whole fucking tower down. But these chains... I do the only thing I can in the situation and raise my hands to my eyes. I can't bear to look for another moment. It turns out I can't even do that as one of the Templars stops beating Karl long enough to come and pin my arms against my sides.

"Who said you could cover your eyes, _Mage_?" he sneers and punctuates his question with a kick to my groin.

Suddenly I'm awake. A faint blue light still radiates from my skin. Justice. That bastard of a spirit must have been sifting through my memories again. He does that when he thinks I've grown lax in fighting for mage freedom. It's grown worse since I've moved in with Amber, because he can't see how I can love someone so antagonistic to our cause. Sometimes I'm not sure either, and other times I'm almost certain I've convinced her to side with me. I glance over to see if I have awakened her. She's sitting up and her arms are crossed against her chest. _Uh-oh_. _Here it comes_.

"I would have woken you up my dear, but you were... glowy," she says with more gentleness than expected as she opens her arms to me. "Are you okay?"

I settle into her embrace as I try to think of a plausible lie to explain my thrashing about. _Of course! The Grey Warden dreams. She had woken me from one herself in the Deep Roads. _

"I'm fine. Really," I say with all the confidence I can muster as I reach up to stroke the side of her face. "It was just another one of those lovely Grey Warden dreams. You must remember them from the Deep Roads."

"Right," she sighs as her hand stills in my hair. _Shit._ "Grey Wardens dream about Templars now?"

"Oh yes. Templars are just darkspawn in shining armor after all. Also, Andraste was a brood mother and the Maker is the Arch Archdemon. But don't tell anyone I gave that secret away or I'll have to kill you," I waggle my eyebrows as I say this, hoping to get a laugh out of her so we can just move past this and get back to sleep.

"Anders...I want to help you, but I can't do that if you won't trust me enough to tell me the truth."

By this point I know that nothing but the truth will suffice. Or at least part of it. I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of telling her about Karl and I. Maker knows our relationship is tenuous as is. I don't want her to think I might leave her for the first handsome man who comes along.

"If you truly want to know..."

"I do, love," she says as she places a tender kiss on the top of my head.

"While in the Circle in Ferelden I tried my damnedest to spend more time out of it than in. The Templars would drag me back every time, of course. I was usually chained, beaten, and thrown into a cell on arrival to discourage me from running away again. Eventually they decided that wasn't working so they tried a new tactic. My dear friend, Karl was dragged out of his bed in the middle of the night and beaten in front of me. I was chained and unable to help him or even to cover my eyes so I wouldn't have to watch. Maker... -hearing him was bad enough. At any rate, the memory didn't get to play much past that point..." I trail off and look up to see if I have satisfied Amber with this response.

"Anders. I said to tell me the truth."

"But I am..." Damn. I thought only blood mages could read minds. Can reavers do it too? Or maybe it's a woman thing.

"I saw how you looked at Karl, honey. He was more than just a dear friend."

"All right, yes we were lovers. I didn't know it was that obvious. I'm glad to know that part of my past doesn't upset you, love."

"Not at all. It's not like you were upset about Isabela and I," she says with a hint of her impish grin before giving me a gentle squeeze. "What worries me are the actions of the Templars. You've given me a lot to think about. The bastards had no right!"

"Unfortunately the Chantry gives them every right, and it happens more often than not. This is what I'm fighting against, love. Do you see now?" I look into her eyes and feel my own widen at the amount of pain visible in hers. She _does_ see.

"I do," she whispers as she strokes the side of my face. "From this point forward you won't have to fight them alone."

"Love?" I can barely believe my own ears. Even Justice is doing a mental double take.

"I mean it, Anders. I just- ... I had no idea. What if that had been me chained while you were beaten? Nobody deserves to have to go through that. The beating or the helpless watching. Just promise me one thing."

"Anything, love. Your support means the world to me," I say and at this moment I do mean every word.

"No more lies."

I swallow as I think of all the things I have been keeping from Amber for her own safety. There's no need for us both to hang. I could tell the truth but instead I just say "Of course, – Amber," as I feel a little bit more of my self die. _Maker let her forgive me in the end. Even if... well best not to think of that_. We settle back down in the bed and the rest of the night is spent in peaceful, uninterrupted; slumber.


End file.
